Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Randomize
