Non-Jews are for practice
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
