Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
