You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
