Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
