I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize