ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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