just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She announced her abortion via fbk
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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