her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
