Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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