I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
