the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
