I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
