dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
