she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
3 2 1 whiskey
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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