Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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