When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize