Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
