My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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