I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
