Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
