garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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