Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
