By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
