we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
