Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
