I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
