When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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