She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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