I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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