You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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