Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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