Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So vagazzling was a success
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
