I think I just saw someone hide a body.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
