In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Couch. On fire.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
