i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
