I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Farmville is her only friend.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize