i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
