Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
