And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize