how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The best revenge is premature balding
this just has baby written all over it
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
