he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
