I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
