dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize