god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
