I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
