addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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