haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
