ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Redeem this text for a blowjob
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
