listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
