Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
