Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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