took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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