is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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