i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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