u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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