Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
