a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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