the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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