Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
