I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
