Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize