I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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