So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
