idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize