can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
