Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
